I refuse to be a victim

April 28, 2010 at 10:08 pm | Posted in women | 2 Comments
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Prithee do not mock me, fellow internet user: the title is merely a quote from the self-help CD to which Carolyn Burnham listens in American Beauty.  The rain pours, she takes out a gun from the glove compartment……..or that’s how I remember it anyway.  Great film.

What I don’t want to be a victim of is (bad grammar, dahlings, sorry) not the inability to sit on my perfect ivory sofa for fear of soiling it, a la Carolyn, but rather what people choose to call me.  I’m talking about my title.  Women are afraid of being called feminists, but frankly, I don’t really give a toss if not wanting people to keep calling me ‘Mrs’ makes me the next Germaine Greer or not.  I just resent the fact that, from the day women are born, they are defined by their title.  ‘Miss’ can be seen as young and carefree on one hand and labelled immature and committment-phobic on the other.  ‘Mrs’ is grown-up and responsible – or is it old and boring?  Who knows?  Who cares?  The point is, is that men never need to make this choice.  They are always ‘Mr’, and there is never that awkward moment where you risk offending a woman if you get her title wrong.  No wonder women always feel the need to fight their corner – there are too many choices when it comes to female titles.

So I’ve got a suggestion.  Stop calling me ‘Mrs’, or ‘Miss’ or ‘Ms’ (I really can’t stand the latter), and just call me Amy Pirt.  That’s my name: don’t wear it out.



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  1. Absobloodylutely (just invented a new portmanteau there). Women have always been judged or assessed against their relationships to men; nevertheless, it does not make it right. I agree with your suggestion to use one’s name as a form of address seems the logical option (if offending anyone is to be avoided), after all, men never have to change their handle just because of getting hitched. Good job we don’t believe in all that numerology mumbo-jumbo, ‘cos as well as obtaining a new name we’d all develop a brand new personality to go with it. Why should women be the ones who are compelled to change an intrinsic part of their psyche upon marriage? Seems pretty archaic to me. Love the blog Amy, it’s a refreshing change from farming. xxxx

  2. […] written on this topic before, and my views haven’t changed. A customer came in once, and when I asked her if she was […]

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