I wasn’t looking, but somehow you found me…

March 1, 2012 at 5:39 am | Posted in insomnia, internet | 1 Comment
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Well, I can’t sleep, which is not unusual for me of late. However, unusually, I’m not working till 1315 tomorrow (or, erm, today), so we’re not exactly in long dark night of the soul territory.

This post on search terms comes to you after I read a similar post by this blogger (she’s a great writer and you should all follow her). Anyway, it made me think about the bizarre search terms which have lead people to my blog, amongst the more mundane involving my name and the blog name. Here’s a selection:

1) How do you know if a girly girl is in love with a man – mate, you’re asking the wrong woman, for I am not a girly girl. You will not find me in the kitchen slaving away baking heart-shaped buns, nor will you see me buy baby pink accessories for my vehicle.

2) Lolita porn – well, you seem to have stumbled across the wrong sort of website! Yes, I’ve made a reference to Lolita in a previous post, and I appreciate that this blog is called Sugar Baby Love. But that is after the kitsch 70s song, not a website where ladies of the night contort themselves in many and varied ways.

3) Motherhood prefab sprout – I have discussed both motherhood and Prefab Sprout. Why someone would decide to search those two things together, however, I have no idea.

4) Half siblings in love – must we go there? Let me clarify: I blogged about half siblings, not incest.

5) Eastenders lady with one nostril – I think this one might be my favourite.

6) Sugar baby wanted in Florida – honey, I am always wanted in Florida. But I suspect that wasn’t what you were looking for, was it?

7) Joy division baby love – ooh, that would have made an interesting cover.

8) Homemade sex tapes damien and “theresa” – I don’t even know a Damien or a Theresa, let alone whether or not they film themselves in flagrante.

9) Shugar baby love – you need to learn to spell.

10) Slut – nice.

11) Is Sweden really as gender phobic as Stieg Larsson indicates – in my experience, no. And I don’t think he suggests that in his books, incidentally.

12) Bergerac centre – do please tell me as soon as this is established. I feel very strongly that we need a Centre for Bergerac Studies.

13) How make dleray woman baby – I know the ‘dleray’ in question and I have no idea why someone would search this.

14) Sugar baby small town – good song title.

15) Pirt girl – they’re either genuinely looking for a female Pirt. Or they can’t spell.

16) Annie Wilkes birthday cake – let me guess: it’s got Liberace and a penguin on it.

Fascinating, eh?

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Hello? Is it me you’re looking for?

February 7, 2012 at 2:49 pm | Posted in relationships | Leave a comment
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Recently, I entered the world of online dating.  It didn’t work out amazingly, but the gentleman and I have remained on good terms.  I didn’t join Guardian Soulmates to find a friend, but I’m glad I found this one.

The excellent columnist Eva Wiseman wrote about the end of relationships in our brave new digital age in the Observer Magazine last Sunday.  I thought she made a very interesting point in saying that we can no longer disappear when we are dumped or dump another: there is always the temptation to Google his or her name, or to request him or her as a Facebook friend, or follow him or her on Twitter.  In this increasingly digitalised age, we have to be more strict with ourselves: we have to make the choice not to use the internet as the virtual equivalent of walking past an ex’s house or sending him or her a letter.

What I found most bizarre was the website where you sell the presents your ex gave you.  Can you really not bear to be reminded of them that much?  Could you not have just thrown them away?  I shan’t be putting my wedding dress, red bracelet or leopard print stilettos on there anytime soon.

Speaking of online relationships, you must read The Powerbook. It offers a fascinating glimpse into them, as does the beginning of Ben Brooks’ novel Grow Up.

Chick lit? Sick lit, more like…

January 23, 2012 at 7:32 am | Posted in books, Literature, technology | 2 Comments
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I’ve just read a fabulous article by Helen Rumbelow about the decline of chick lit on Times Online (it’s so freshly pressed that no Google result exists for it yet).  The way we read is clearly changing, and it is obviously no longer acceptable to female readers to be targeted in a patronising and divisive fashion. WH Smith would’ve cheerfully continued to have a section labelled Women’s Fiction, had two offended young women not complained about it.

What I found most interesting about the article was the male chicklit authors suggesting that men rather than women formed the greater part of their readership. Moreover, the invention of the ereader has enabled these men to read these chick lit novels in secrecy, safe in the knowledge that no city boy will laugh at their reading matter on the Tube. One massive disadvantage the ereader creates, however, is a loss of community in the act of reading. If you can’t tell what a stranger’s reading, how can you ask them if it’s any good?

Sweetness, I was only joking….

January 18, 2012 at 6:45 pm | Posted in Career, internet, Uncategorized, work | Leave a comment
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….or semi-joking, at least, about the Googling. Google away, if you are so inclined, particularly if you are someone who can help my career (which is pretty much one of the only three things I care about).  It fascinates me, the internet, this endlessly-populated and limitless population we’ve created.  Can you imagine if it ceased to exist?  It would be utterly bizarre.

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