Oh No, Love, You’re Not Alone

May 11, 2012 at 9:23 pm | Posted in Friendship, internet, Loneliness | 6 Comments
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In this week’s Grazia, Bibi Lynch poses the question, ‘Have we become Generation Lonely?’. Or, as I prefer to put it, are we spending most our lives living in J D Salinger’s paradise?*

For I believe that J D Salinger would have loved how today’s world is enabling mankind to be ever more reclusive. He’d have loved internet shopping and online banking, and relished the fact that he need never leave his house again. Although conversely, I am sure he would have hated how much, arguably, writers need to promote themselves in today’s increasingly self-promoting society. Unlike Dickens, whom I’m sure would have been all over Twitter and Facebook.

I digress, however. Unlike Salinger, Lynch believes it’s time to ‘create actual – not virtual – relationships’. I certainly agree with her that, were we to keep it purely for housekeeping, the internet would be phenomenally useful. Yet she makes a good point when she says that those who think obsessive Twittering and Facebook stalking counts as a social life are ‘[D]elusional’.

But here’s the thing: unlike Miss Lynch, who, as a writer, may well while away a whole day having not ‘uttered a single word out loud’, as a bookseller, all I DO is talk. I talk on the till, I talk to recommend, I talk about books to my colleagues (obviously, sometimes I have to do dull officy things, but you get the picture). So when I get home, to my lovely little house which I have all to myself three evenings a week, I don’t particularly want to have any real human contact, thanks. Sure, I see friends a few times a week, and I enjoy their company. But I wouldn’t want it every night. If you know me (and I suppose by that I mean ‘in reality), you’ll know that I can be positively misanthropic at the best of times: I have been known to avoid acquaintances in the town as I can’t stand small talk.

So thank you, Bibi, for your concern that I may be part of ‘Generation Delusional Lonely’. But if I wish to spend my evening in the company of strangers, after a day filled with real human contact, then I’m sure it won’t make me any more lonely than those who frantically fill their diaries with dinners and dates for fear of being alone. Aren’t they, in fact, the deluded and lonely ones?

*Couldn’t resist the Coolio reference: I’ve had a soft spot for him ever since I drunkenly asked him, outside Warwick Student Union, if he wanted to come to Tesco to buy wine.

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They tried to make him use a different style icon, but he said no, no, no…

January 31, 2012 at 4:11 pm | Posted in Amy Winehouse, Fashion, Jean Paul Gaultier | Leave a comment
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Jean Paul Gaultier has been criticised by Mitch Winehouse for taking his daughter’s image and putting it on the catwalk.  What has added to the Winehouse family’s distress is that Gaultier’s collection has been shown a mere six months after Amy’s death.

I bought The Sun for the first time in my life, en route to London, when I saw this story, and I have to partially agree with the Winehouse family.  Gaultier’s dressing a model in a neon yellow outfit, styling her hair in a beehive and giving her a cigarette wasn’t just distasteful, it was mimicry rather than imitation.  But since seeing further coverage of the story in Grazia, I have to say that I admire Gaultier’s courage.   His primary-coloured beehives are stunning, and a real tribute to Amy.

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