I wasn’t looking, but somehow you found me…

March 1, 2012 at 5:39 am | Posted in insomnia, internet | 1 Comment
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Well, I can’t sleep, which is not unusual for me of late. However, unusually, I’m not working till 1315 tomorrow (or, erm, today), so we’re not exactly in long dark night of the soul territory.

This post on search terms comes to you after I read a similar post by this blogger (she’s a great writer and you should all follow her). Anyway, it made me think about the bizarre search terms which have lead people to my blog, amongst the more mundane involving my name and the blog name. Here’s a selection:

1) How do you know if a girly girl is in love with a man – mate, you’re asking the wrong woman, for I am not a girly girl. You will not find me in the kitchen slaving away baking heart-shaped buns, nor will you see me buy baby pink accessories for my vehicle.

2) Lolita porn – well, you seem to have stumbled across the wrong sort of website! Yes, I’ve made a reference to Lolita in a previous post, and I appreciate that this blog is called Sugar Baby Love. But that is after the kitsch 70s song, not a website where ladies of the night contort themselves in many and varied ways.

3) Motherhood prefab sprout – I have discussed both motherhood and Prefab Sprout. Why someone would decide to search those two things together, however, I have no idea.

4) Half siblings in love – must we go there? Let me clarify: I blogged about half siblings, not incest.

5) Eastenders lady with one nostril – I think this one might be my favourite.

6) Sugar baby wanted in Florida – honey, I am always wanted in Florida. But I suspect that wasn’t what you were looking for, was it?

7) Joy division baby love – ooh, that would have made an interesting cover.

8) Homemade sex tapes damien and “theresa” – I don’t even know a Damien or a Theresa, let alone whether or not they film themselves in flagrante.

9) Shugar baby love – you need to learn to spell.

10) Slut – nice.

11) Is Sweden really as gender phobic as Stieg Larsson indicates – in my experience, no. And I don’t think he suggests that in his books, incidentally.

12) Bergerac centre – do please tell me as soon as this is established. I feel very strongly that we need a Centre for Bergerac Studies.

13) How make dleray woman baby – I know the ‘dleray’ in question and I have no idea why someone would search this.

14) Sugar baby small town – good song title.

15) Pirt girl – they’re either genuinely looking for a female Pirt. Or they can’t spell.

16) Annie Wilkes birthday cake – let me guess: it’s got Liberace and a penguin on it.

Fascinating, eh?

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Always Crashing in the Same Car

February 27, 2012 at 8:00 pm | Posted in depression | Leave a comment
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I’m feeling down again. It always creeps up slowly, then I gradually realise how empty I feel. It actually manifests itself physically: I can feel a void in my stomach, and I don’t know what the hell to do about it.

As a pragmatic, problem-solving person, I always try to rationalise why I’m feeling this way, and I always come to the same conclusion: I have neither a right nor a reason to feel like this.

But this week, I don’t have to search hard for reasons. I am leaving my lovely shop, for example, and I may never work there again. I may never spend a morning in the windowless cash office, nor serve the lady who collects the Olympic 50ps. I may never again encounter the freezing wind tunnel by Next en route to the car park. I may never again have a cigarette in the service yard, watching the ambulances speeding by and thinking of Philip Larkin.

I am also sad, because I thought that my son would be waiting for me at home. Instead, he is at his other home, with his other grandmother, even though they are about to spend two whole weeks together.

I don’t want a pity party: honestly. So here are some photos of, to quote my best friend’s sister’s tattoo, the reasons to ‘celebrate’ my life.

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