Do I look like a girly girl to you?

May 13, 2010 at 8:40 pm | Posted in books, debate, men, Uncategorized, women | 6 Comments
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I didn't have an umbrella, alright?

I’ll start with a couple of disclaimers:  I never wear jeans, am incredibly vain and am obviously pregnant in the photo above.  So, we can conclude that not only am I a woman (sorry for being ridiculously obvious, but you know), I could also never be described as a tomboy.

Then again, I am convinced I am the man in my relationship (in no way do I mean this in a physical sense).  Asher bows down at the throne of Richard Curtis (he also loves war films and Bond, to give him credit), I crack up every single time Jenna and I watch ‘our’ film , ‘Misery’.  (Anyone who doesn’t laugh when Annie Wilkes says she’s going to put on her Liberace records needs a personality bypass.)  Asher bought me this card for Valentine’s Day:

whilst I bought him this:

You get my point?

So it really rather pissed me off when some foul man asked me recently whether or not I liked Stieg Larsson’s Millenium Trilogy, and, after I said yes, implied that he wouldn’t like them, because I’m a ‘girly’ (yes, he really said that).  Oh, I’m sorry: I didn’t realise that literature had become gender specific now.  Heaven forbid that both the female of the species and the greater sex enjoy the same book.  Christ, is that the time?  I better get back to my manicure and Mills and Boon bonkbuster.  (Exit in my pink Nissan Micra complete with pink furry dice, pink  headrest covers and pink steering wheel cover. )

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Or vote for change. Vote Swedish horse.

May 6, 2010 at 6:38 am | Posted in election, politics | 2 Comments
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You know it makes sense

Despite being besieged by the Conservatives in the form of personalised letters from Cameron himself (it’s as if he actually knows me – how creepy is that?), and besieged by Labour in the form of Gwyn Prosser’s tying a red balloon to Jude’s pushchair last week, I am still undecided.  I know that I have to vote by 10pm, but I’m still not sure which L will sway me – Labour or Lib Dem?

Cameron’s policies make me sick.  He’s the anti-Robin Hood; the richest will get more tax breaks and one fifth of Sure Start centres will go with him as Prime Minister.  I would never vote Tory anyway, but his policies wouldn’t exactly be an incentive for me to do so, were I ever completely to change my beliefs (see you at the ice rink in hell).

So I say, vote Swedish horse.  It will stand there and look pretty while we storm the Houses of Parliament and remove whomever happens to get in (does it really matter – will they really solve youth unemployment and increase the state pension and Jobseeker’s Allowance?).  Who needs a Prime Minister who speaks, when you can have a pretty wooden equine?  Let’s just hope it’s not a Trojan.

Stockholm, mon amour

May 5, 2010 at 8:41 am | Posted in dreams, travel | Leave a comment
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The view from DEN RÖDA BÅTEN MÄLAREN

Last night, my dreams were devoid of coin-covered Frenchmen, and filled with Stockholm.  I dreamed I stood outside a chocolate and oyster shop which featured in Stieg Larsson’s Millennium trilogy (if you’re asking what that is, why haven’t you read them already?).  Sadly, I missed the Millennium tour when I was in Stockholm last summer, as it runs only on a Saturday.  However, hopefully it will become more frequent, as the interest in Stieg refuses to die down (probably not the best cliche to use, as Larsson is in fact dead now.

Speaking of cliches, those they use about Sweden are true: there are lots of healthy young things storming around the city on bikes, it is very clean and it is mouth-droppingly expensive (so much so that we ate most of our dinners at McEvil.  The shame.  Pie is paj in Swedish, btw).

But nothing was cliched about our hostel,  Den Röda Båten Mälaren.  Greeting us on our arrival was the scene below:

which I changed later to:

Plopp, indeed

Do not trust Swedish chocolate.   Not only the name, but also the taste of that bar was decidedly suspicious.

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